Mac
Upon joining the Flickboard in late 2002, Mac was immediately confronted
with a most difficult challenge: Replacing Litts, one of the
RFB's original members. Known as one of the most genuinely nice
human beings ever born, Mac was his usual gracious self at a packed press
conference heralding his admission: "Look, the only reason Litts even hung
around this long is because he could beat the living shit out of all the
other members," Mac said, shocking everyone in attendance. "I mean,
let's face it: JT, Brown and Billy are a bunch of munchkin weaklings;
Kilty's a bit of a retard oaf; and The Pops and Mamakins -- don't
even get me started on the Greek incest angle."
Despite this
newfound sassiness, with his strong
ties to the political establishment, Mac brings an extra dimension to his
role on the DC area-based Flickboard. "Believe me, the days of
the RFB struggling for national recognition are over," he says.
"We're going to make the gun lobby look like child's play."
When asked to
explain exactly how he wields so much influence on the Washington political scene,
Mac pleads the fifth quicker than Ollie North. But founding father
Brown sheds a bit more light on the situation: "During our interviews with
him, Mac revealed he has photos of President Bush in the Oval Office in a,
shall we say, compromising situation." Many expected these
photos to reveal a lurid Clinton/Lewinsky-esque sex
romp. "It's even worse than that," says Brown. "The pictures
show Dubya sitting naked on the Oval Office floor, openly weeping while
watching the closing scene from 'Titanic'."
"As long as I
have those photos as leverage, we can write our own ticket on Capitol
Hill," says Mac.
Membership
Status:
Inducted
November 2002
Top
Rated Flick: 'Good
Will Hunting' / 'Almost Famous'
Lowest
Rated Flick: 'Moulin
Rouge' / 'A.I.'
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