RFB: The Rifbys

In a race tighter than The Pops' bikini briefs, 'Memento' beat out 'The Royal Tenenbaums' and 'A Beautiful Mind' as the best flick of 2001, as voted on by 6 of the Rockville Flick Board's 8 members. At the second annual ceremony, held on a perpetually-under-construction Slaters Lane in front of tens of appalled and well-to-do neighbors, Kilty served as this year's master of ceremonies. "I don't feel drunk," he quipped in a geek-boy reference to the year's winning flick. The voting was shrouded in controversy, as only 4 of the Board's 8 members actually saw 'Memento'. Speaking for himself and Mamakins, The Pops launched into a tirade: "I'm irate. I tried renting 'Memento' three times, and kept having to return it to Blockbuster. The copies they had were all defective, with the movie starting at the end and working toward the beginning...it was unacceptable!" Overhearing this, Brown opened his mouth as if to begin an explanation, then thought better of it and just shook his head at the old man. In other news, neither Litts nor Beth have been heard from by their fellow RFB members for months. "We think they packed up the family and moved to Kabul," explained Billy. "Litts heard it was one of the world's fasting growing cities, and has the fewest periodontists per capita on the planet. He was really excited about the opportunity." Realizing the Rifbys 2001 story would be picked up by news outlets around the world, JT chimed in: "Litts, if you read this, put down the frick'n Koran and send in some ratings...your membership is in jeopardy!"

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