RFB: The Rifbys

In a welcome war-time distraction, the results of the third annual 'Rifby' Awards were announced today, with 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' edging out '25th Hour' and 'Road to Perdition' as the best flick of 2002. In a controversial move, founding fathers Brown and The Pops stuck with their plan to announce winners live from a gala ceremony in Doah, Qatar. In an interview broadcast on the Al-Jazeera network, lifelong RFB fan and US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was quick to denounce earlier remarks made by Kilty, in which he referred to the ceremony as "an explosive event not to be missed, at which several bombs would be dropped." Despite such inflammatory double entendre, there was no debating the 'shock and awe' that resulted from the announcement of this year's award winners. 'Greek Wedding' topped the list with a whopping 11 Rifby points, followed by a tie for second between '25th Hour' and 'Perdition' (7 points each). In all, a record 14 different titles appeared on various members' Best of the Year ballots. The Worst of the Year was a runaway pick of 'The Time Machine', a brutal remake. And in another tie, Most Overrated honors were split between 'The Hours' and 'Panic Room'.

The event's other big news item was the impact that new members Mac and Chrissy have had on the RFB. In an interesting twist, Mac seemed to feel more at ease in Qatar than back at his own home in Northern Virginia. "Litts has been hunting me down like a member of Al-Qaida ever since I took his place on the Board," said Mac. "At least here, I feel safe. I mean, have you ever met Litts?" For Chrissy's part, she seemed more focused on actual balloting results. "How these guys chose '25th Hour' and 'Perdition' as top movies is beyond me," she said. "Now, granted, I was ass-loaded drunk when I saw them, and that may have led to my poor ratings, but c'mon!" But there was no denying the volume of ratings these new members have brought to the RFB. "And that was with only 2 months of membership last year," said Mac. "Just wait for 03."

OVERALL RESULTS

PLAYER BALLOTS