RFB: The Rifbys

At a ceremony two years in the making, the results of the fifth almost-annual 'Rifby' Awards were announced this weekend, with 'Walk the Line' taking honors as Flick of the Year for 2005. But while this flick was the undisputed winner, strong consensus was hardly a theme of this year's balloting, and there was plenty of controversy to go around.

Conspicuously diminished in Rifby results was the much-discussed 'Brokeback Mountain', a smoldering love story between two ultra-masculine-yet-flaming cowboys, set to premier in Utah theaters in June 2024. Flickboard member The Pops was quick to speak up on the matter. "Look, I'm as tolerant as the next guy, but come on, give me something. Put Catherine Zeta-Jones in the Gyllenhaal role and I'm there!" he said. "I mean, what am I paying $10.50 for, a case of erectile dysfunction?" In total, 'Brokeback' came away with just a single third-place vote in the balloting.

Continuing to pump up the sexual tension in the proceedings was the hot three-way action for second place in Flick of the Year voting, with 'Batman Begins', 'Dear Frankie' and 'Crash' each getting a piece of ass. Flickboard member Mac - always ready to up the intelligence quotient for the group - chimed in on the irony of the tie, given the credibility challenges each flick overcame. "Step back and look at this," he said. "One's about a comic book guy in a rubber suit. Another's got a mother convincing her son he has a different father. And the last one stars Brendan Fraser and Sandra Bullock as an articulate, believable dramatic couple," he said. "You tell me which scenario is most realistic."

In all, a whopping sixteen flicks received votes in Flick of the Year balloting. And in perhaps the biggest controversy of the year, one of them - 'Downfall: Hitler and the End of the Third Reich' - received both a first place vote from Kilty and a Worst of the Year vote from founding member JT. Never in Rifby history had the same flick been voted both best and worst - until now. The disagreement, which has driven a wedge between the two friends for months, reached its apex when Kilty granted an explosive interview to NBC's Matt Lauer on the popular 'Today' show. When Lauer questioned whether JT is entitled to his own opinion, Kilty lashed out. "Matt, you're glib," he said. "You haven't studied the Third Reich. I have. Do you even know who Hitler is?" Fortunately, fellow member Chrissy - who looks remarkably similar to Katie Holmes - was in the studio to pull Kilty away before any couch-jumping took place.

The diversity theme continued in the Most Underrated category, with 'Batman Begins' barely garnering the award over five other flicks. Worst of the Year saw the largest spread of all, with each member voting for a different flick. Only in the Most Overrated category was there any major consensus, with 'The Constant Gardner' taking three of seven votes. In a brief two-minute appearance at the ceremony between band practice and yet another weekend in Providence with his future in-laws, RFB member Brown chimed in on the Ralph Fiennes mess: "Political masterpiece my ass," he said. "But hear this loud and clear: The Rifbys are back." Indeed they are.

OVERALL RESULTS

PLAYER BALLOTS